Silence Speaks Volumes

I wonder if one day, all the tears that have been cried silently will be noticed?
The many nights that have been spent, wrapped up in worry and fear. I want to know if they will be repayed with happiness.
It is encouraging to think that in the future, people may look back at what I've gone through, and what I've put up with, without walking away.
Just one hug at the end of it and a genuine, 'thankyou,' would be enough.
No matter what people tell you, you do not have it easy, or don't have anything to worry about.
Everyone has issues. Naive people just need realise that their own problems do not block out those of others.
A small issue to one person, is a suicidal complication for another.
I have almost constant urges to travel to where my loved ones are so that I know they are safe. If I don't have what I deem as sufficient contact, I melt down.
I have lived with my problems for so long, I don't know how to get rid of them. For example, whilst I am sat writing this, my boyfriend is asleep... (it is 2:03am) With his university life style, I am not used to him being asleep right now. Im worrying myself over silly things such as, what if he's out and is lying to me. Or what if he's actually awake and just wants time to himself. Both of these are no real thing to worry over, plus I dont think he'd ever go out and not tell me. However, this is what I mean. I have lived in constant fear for so long that I have to worry about something, no matter how stupid it is.
I know I am a burden to the people I worry about. It has broken relationships and strained others, I just hope they understand I don't do what I do to get in the way, or to be a bitch.
No, I just care. A lot.
I cry myself to sleep too often. I have stopped sleeping almost completely to stay alert to my fears.
Stress and worry has ruled my life. Ruined it, more than ruled. Like everyone,  I would like some praise for coping this far. It has not been a smooth ride. I have the scars to prove my low points, mentally and physically. 
I think the shadow is starting to lift ever so slightly. It's grip seems lighter now than back in September 2013.
*sigh* again this has just turned into silly ramblings of an unstable mind.
I will try not to cry anymore. If anything can change, I'll make it my responsibility to do so.
That's unfortunately all I can control.