Really....

Looking through this blog and I realise how it seems like I'm not happy and that I just complain about everything.
However, I am happy with what I have, just not with myself.
I have an amazing boyfriend, and although he makes mistakes and does not fully understand my depression and anxiety, I know he tries his hardest to make me smile.
Despite the annoying lectures about how I should be happy and what I should be doing rather than dwelling upon things that have upset me, I do appreciate the help he gives me.
He's always there to talk when I need him and he showers me with compliments, that I always disregard.
I feel like a useless and worthless person 99.9% of the time and that makes me believe that the things that are said are because he thinks it's what I want to hear. Although, I do know he tries his best to comfort me and I am forever grateful for this.
So I love you Pauly, you know I do but you'll never know how much you mean to me. I wouldn't be here without everything you have done for me.

In addition, I have amazing friends. There is one in particular who knows exactly what it's like to be depressed and anxious. We rarely say to each other that things will get better, because we know it doesn't help. We just share our stories and bounce off each other. The comfort comes from knowing that neither of us is alone in our quest for happiness. You know who you are, and if you do read this I want to reassure you again that I am always here to talk, and whether you want to share anything or not, you know I am always with you in spirit.

So for anyone who does come across this blog and thinks it's just the ramblings of a nutcase, read between the lines and become understanding. Mental problems are not imaginary, and they can be just as lethal as jumping in front of a train.

Adieu...