Masked Lady

You know what... the mask is coming off right now!
I'm fucking depressed as hell!
I'm sick of feeling like everyone relies on me to do everything in their lives and I don't think I've had one day where I've actually just enjoyed myself.
There's always something to worry about, and there's always something to do!
My mind is fucked and why is it when I open up to people that are meant to be there for me, they just say fuck off!
I'm lonely as hell. I've been left behind by almost everyone.
My opinion is always wrong and im never a priority!
People either laugh, or tut at me when I say I'm depressed. I've even had the comment, 'you don't know what depressed is!'
So these people can just go screw themselves!
The most annoying one is, 'your generation gets everything they need without paying for it.'
Message for them dicks... I've worked sinced I was 14 years old, and it was all voluntary until I was 19 years old. I have more work experience than many 50 year olds.
I have been a geek my entire life, and was bullied horrifically for it. However, all my qualifications so far have been passed to the highest grade. Including my foundation degree, and hopefully my BSc Hons. I don't get student loans, I paid for university out of my savings. So when I say I'm skint,  it means I have nothing. No £1500 overdraft. No huge sum of money that is waiting to go into my bank. No privileges of going out with friends that comes with living in uni accommodation.  No enjoying myself on borrowed money, making a dick of myself in bars or inside jokes with mates about that night I threw up in a back alley after downing a fishbowl.
No, I am an honest person. I have severe depression and anxiety, yes! I am not perfect. I have lost my childhood to anxiety mainly.
I would have to go everywhere with my mum so she didn't get killed crossing the street.  One time when I was about 7 years old, my mum snuck into town to do some shopping. She was probably fed up of having me in tow all the time, and didn't tell me she'd gone. I remember, running round the house screaming for my mummy and then went running in town, which is 2 miles away. My dad came after me when he'd realised I'd left. I never caught up with my mum, and for the rest of the day until she got back I was hysterical.  I honestly thought I'd never see her again.
And that is a thought I get each and every time someone goes out and im not there with them.
I grew up fast, and I very stressed out person.  It would be nice to act like a fun loving, careless, 20 year old uni student. Alas, that is not me.
I will probably die from stress... im already pretty ill.
There are many I know who are also suffering from depression and axietys. I hope you all find you're way to the light. If I can help,  I will. That's just who I am.
So the next time someone tells you the truth, don't be narrow minded.
It's awful being alone to deal with crippling issues.
Tucked away in this dark bubble of life, many things will try to beat you. We all must try. It has nearly defeated me numerous times... hopefully not anymore.