Our Dilema

Sweetie, I'm so proud of you for cutting down smoking, but distracting yourself from it by playing on your laptop all day isn't my idea of a good day in.

That Fuzzy Feeling

Today you told me that you couldn't wait to marry me. <3
 Although we will wait for at least a year to pass, I just feel so happy. xxx

Consumed in the Old Worlds

Words turn into pictures. 
Pictures into flowing reels. 
Reality follows.  

 I am not talking of the method in which T.V shows and films are made. I relate this to the reading of a book.
 I have a photographic memory and a strong imagination so when I read words, they become  film-like. It is a benefit of my mind, and one that I could not live without.
 I have had severe depression in the past, and I constantly put up with paralysing anxiety and anger problems. For me, the only way I have learnt to escape is through writing, drawing and reading; the later being my favourite.
 Stories of myths, legends and time gone by, take the dull reality away from me and I can forget everything. I am drawn to worlds that were or could have been real, for I long to live in a different age. I'm sure this is a dream wished by many as the modern world causes so many problems for aware minds.
 Sometimes I think; wouldn't it be better if we were farmers with horse drawn machinery, just trying to live comfortably with a happy family. Or even, the kings and queens of old, with their luxuries and glory. 

 The words that I read form a bubble around me. I can live in the stories. I can be a part of families. I can have everything. I can have nothing. 'From the crawling ant, to the leaping antelope,' their stories are my own. I carry memories of characters with me everywhere I go, and they make their appearance in my personality in different ways. 
 For instance; when I was at animal college, my friends and I used to go walking in the surrounding woods quite often. I used to like to stay clear of paths and wander into the wild, like Frodo Baggins was commanded to do by Gandalf as the Nazgul pursued him on his quest. Although, only one of my friends from college noticed this sense of adventure... and surprise, surprise; she's the only one I keep in contact with now.
 Also, on the fortunate occasions I have the opportunity to go horse riding, I pretend I am King Arthur on a mighty steed, leading an army into battle. 

 I guess what I'm trying to explain is that I make stories real. Not only to myself, but others around me. Or at least the people who know me enough to realise my involvement with imagery. I make characters live on in today's world. 
 The names of King Arthur and Robinson Crusoe, may be common knowledge for some; yet I bring an eternal glory those who were sideline personalities in grand novels, such as overlooked farmers and beggars. They all had stories to tell, and I heard them all. 

 In the drone of day to day live, I get cast aside from the footholds of up-to-date fashion, social standings and 'normality'. Although this is how I like it, there's nothing like escaping. 

 One day, I hope to create something such as book or a painting that similar minded people will acknowledge, and carry on the lives of the characters for at least their life time. That means more to me than anything.

For I truly believe, inspiration is the key to Escape.

Hmm...

I think I need to meet up with some old friends.

It's been one of those reminiscing days and I miss the ones that made me feel myself.

The ones that allow me to act stupidly giddy and join in with the craziness.

Ah yes.... that's just what I need.

When you...

When you take my hand, you hold it like it's the last time my fingers will be wrapped in yours.
When you hug me, squeeze me like you may not get another chance.
When you kiss me, do it like you normally do, where I feel like I am the world to you. 
When you stare into my eyes, show me the gateway to our entwined futures.
All this i desire because when I'm with you, I feel like an eagle, flying free. Never to be bound by worries or doubts, traps and snares of life's ups and downs. I am peaceful and happy. 
And every second we're apart, the ticks and tocks of the clock stab the fact into my brain that the time before we're together again is too long. 
And should something happen, to which the result would be that we could never hold hands, hug, kiss or see each other again, I want you to know that I always hold you tightly in my heart <3 

New Warmth

My heart is filled with a new warmth :D
I explode with happiness every time I'm with you.
......I love you <3

Typical of Moi

Turn around gosh damn it... I long to get to know you.
Oh shit... quick turn the other way he's looking... 
Bloody hell, just speak to him. Stop being a coward.
Erm... how am I going to do this, "Hey, what's up dude?" no, no, too casual... What if I drop a pen  in front of him so he picks it up and talks to me? No, that wouldn't work either, and why would I have a pen in a pub. I could do the primary school thing and get one of my friends to speak to him for me? Well that's just the most stupid idea you've come up with so far...
*Gasp* He's smiling at me... smile back... what was that. That was more like a grimace. Stupid women, remind myself to give me a good verbal beating when I get back home. 
I'll just go and buy another drink, the strongest one they've got preferably...
"Hello." :O Oh gosh, he's speaking to me... what to do, what to do... "Erm, Hi..." 


And so it begins...

Tribute to those in my heart

Everyone has those people who can cheer them up an instant.

I have 3 of these people...

So Beth... sorry... Effy (snotface :P) You're f*cking awesome. You always help me to unleash my crazy side and don't ever change!!! Plus I loves you long time :D 

Kerry... dude....<==== you got me addicted to saying dude!!!! Where the actual hell would I be without you deary. You and your amazing mash is ALGERBRAIC!!! :P

And Emma, Emz, Emzie... (all those nicknames from the past ages) I swear to god, you mean the world to me and I'm still trying to figure out why we have laughing fits every time we see each other. You're my fake sister darling and I love you.....

You 3 brilliant people have helped me through everything and I always look forward to seeing you... Just thought I'd tell you all.